Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop
The prompt I chose this week: 5.) List ten things that make you HAPPY.
I chose this prompt because last week I took a trip down the dark side with my 10 things I am sick of post. So this week I will take some time to be grateful. And I was very tired last night so this post ends up being a day late but I did start it yesterday. :)
1. My son: He can also drive me up the wall, but no one on earth can make me as happy as he does. There are no words to describe the feeling of having him run up to me throw his arms around my neck and tell me "I Love You Mommy". It is amazing to start my day with my precious boy telling me "Good Morning Sweetie Pie" and to end it with him curling up on the couch next to me and falling asleep. He is my biggest achievement, and the greatest blessing in my life.
2. Quiet moments after my son is asleep and before hubby gets home from work or before they both get up in the morning.
3. The smell of alfalfa after it rains
4. Text messages from friends that remind just why they are my friends and make me grateful to have them in my life.
5. Writing, whether it is on this blog, twitter, facebook or just in my journal. I often find myself feeling more cheerful after I have exercised my brain
6. Cooking, when I am stressed or having a bad day I cook. I don't know why but cooking seems to calm me.
7. Spending time with my family, especially when I can get them all together in the same place.
8. The curiosity of a 4 year old boy. The way he gobbles up knowledge and asks so many questions.
9. The way my husband so gently guides me to bed when I have fallen asleep on the couch, and tucks me in.
10. My Kitchenaid stand mixer. It is the best gift I think my mom has ever given me. I LOVE it! It just makes cooking, and baking so much easier and more fun!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Out of the nest and into the world
Plinky Prompt: To the Class of 2009 - a high school commencement speech.
This is the beginning of an amazing chapter in your life. From this moment on you get to define you. This is when you begin to write your own story. The next few years in your life will be a time of challenge, discovery, and exploration. You will find out who you are and what you are made. You will discover what you truly want for your life. You will fall, and get up again and again. You will find out who your friends are and realize that your parents were right about a lot more than you ever dreamed possible. You will be rewarded for your hard work and will you pay the consequences for your bad decisions. You will grow more now than you ever have. You are now working without a net. But don't let that stop you. Go out and try everything. Be open to new experiences. Fail spectacularly, then get up and try again. Start your bucket list NOW. This is the time to do all the things you have always wanted. Now while you are free, before life catches up with you. As you age your list will change, do as much as you can before you become practical. Your parents have done everything to give you roots, now is your time to spread your wings and fly. So today as you graduate you are being pushed out of the nest. Congratulations, and learn how to fly on the way down.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Out of the ashes, the Phoenix will rise again...
I have always been intrigued by the Phoenix, there is something inspiring about a creature that NEVER gives up. This got me thinking, what exactly was I inspired by, and how can I apply that to my life. What inspires me is not that the Phoenix is always knocked down or fails, it is that it always gets back up, it is the amazing perseverance she possesses (I have decided my Phoenix is female). She doesn't complain, doesn't have a pity party about how rough her life is, she doesn't whine about how other creatures she knows don't have to go through this, she simply gets up. When she fails she tries again, she continues on, she simply does what has to be done. She is not plagued with fear, she just rises again and again. She is not worried about what other creatures think of her, are saying about her or whether or not they like her. She does what she can, and that is enough. She doesn't worry about what she is wearing, how her hair looks, or the car that she is driving. Does a Phoenix drive? Regardless she is not concerned by any of the things we allow to hold us back, to stop us, to keep us from moving forward. She just gets up everyday and does what she must, to keep going, to move forward, to progress. She succeeds everyday because she tries. The difference between her and us is that for her, failure is an option, but it doesn't stop her from trying to succeed. I think we have brain washed ourselves into believing the slogan "Failure is not an option". Failure is not a bad thing, failure should be an option, we learn from failure. But failure should not be an impenetrable brick wall. Failure should motivate us, it should inspire us, and direct us down a better path. We should rise from our failures, like the Phoenix, and continue on. We need to stop telling ourselves that when we fail, we have reached a point of no return. Our new mantra should be "Failure is optional". You don't have to fail to succeed, but you can succeed after you fail. When we give ourselves the option of not being successful at everything we do all of the time, we free ourselves to be open to true greatness. We free ourselves of guilt, and anxiety. You see if we are allowed to fail, if we recognize failure as a necessary part of success, we will have more opportunities to succeed. Our successes will be more meaningful. So starting today, I am going to allow myself to fail, so that I will be better prepared for success. The new mantra "Failure is Optional" I encourage you to go out and fail today, and when you do remember the Phoenix, then be prepared for your ultimate success.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Make a list and let it go.....
It is time again for Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop
The prompt I chose this week: List ten things you are currently sick of.
1. People who harm and murder children: Last week a little boy was found buried in a local park. Until yesterday no one had any idea who he could be. A composite sketch that was created by artists with the Center for Missing and Exploited Children after its release yesterday a tip was called in about a woman and her son who had not been seen since last Tuesday. Turns out this woman was the mother of the boy. She admitted to suffocating him, reviving him, then suffocating and burying him in the park. Her reason, that she did not want him to grow up with no one carrying about him like she had. The boy was 3 1/2 years old. As a mom, a woman, a human being this makes me physically ill. Not only did she murder her own child, but she buried him in a playground where another child could have found him. Thank God it was a mother and not a child who found the boys body.
2. Chatty Customer Service Reps: When I call in to a company for customer service, I am not interested in making a new best friend. I want my problem fixed in the quickest most efficient manner. I do not want the rep chatting with me about anything other than what my particular issue is. I don't have time to shoot the breeze, I have too many other things to do and the fact that I have to take time out of my day and life to call is bad enough without being bombarded with questions by a rep who is trying to be my "buddy" instead of just getting to the point and fixing my problem. I don't know who told companies that customers want a "Chatty Cathy" on the phone. For future reference here is what I want in my customer service rep; I want some who is courteous, shows genuine concern for my time not the canned "i'm sorry" line, (show me you are sorry and you have empathy by being efficient and getting me off the phone in the quickest time possible), education, teach me how to fix the problem in the future or give me additional steps to try or other resources so that I may not have to call in again, GET ME OFF THE PHONE, I want efficiency, this comes from being knowledgable. If you have to fill the down time, talk to me about services or tips and tricks that are relevant to ME. Finally stopping thinking customer service comes in one form. I will take a knowledgeable rep that fixes my problem quickly without making small talk over a chatty rep who keeps me on the phone forever ANY DAY!
3. People who look at me like I am crazy for speaking ENGLISH: Don't get me wrong I am all for immigration, and I understand that learning a new language can be difficult. I have no problem with offering translators, translated forms, or bilingual customer service. However when I go to a restaurant, store or any other business in the USA and speak English to the employees I do not expect to be treated like I am from another planet. I do not want to be looked at like I am the one in the wrong. I have no problem being patient with someone whose English is not good, or who is just learning or genuinely trying, my problem is with those who refuse to learn the language of the country they live and work in. I would not move to Germany and expect for everyone to speak English to me. I would expect that I will have to learn German.
4. Laziness: I keep saying that I am going to give my house a good cleaning - but I get it "picked up" and then don't finish. I decide there are other things I also need to do. That as long as it is "picked up" I am doing pretty good. But I need to get rid of a bunch of stuff, and I have got to actually do it! Maybe I should put an appointment into my BlackBerry and then I will finally get it done.
5. The notion that torture prevents future terrorrism: Remember the Golden Rule that we all learned when we were in Kindergarten - Do unto others as you would have them do to you. If we want to foster an environment in which diplomacy, conversation and open debate not violence is the first option we cannot ourselves use violence as a resource. All that torture prevents, is us from making peace with our "enemies". It prevents us from having any credibility in the world arena. We must hold ourselves to the same standards as we hold others. We must be a shining example for the humane treatment of all. By torturing anyone we become exactly what the terrorists believe we are - bullies. We are the greatest country in the world and we should conduct ourselves as such.
6. Companies stuck in the DARK AGE: How is that in 2009, there are still companies that require you deal with them via snail mail? Why can't I submit a request over the internet, or at the very least over the phone? It is completely inefficient to run your business this way.
7. Preschool: Now my problem isn't with all preschools, just the one we were sending my son to. I have been a SAHM since my son was born and last summer I decided he needed to be around other children. So I enrolled him in preschool for half a day. At first he had a wonderful teacher she was so sweet, and you could tell she loved her job. She was really good at it too. But she was reassigned and then left the school. Since then my son has come home with injuries noone can explain, picked up habits that I cannot stand, and seems to never "listen" to them. Finally on Monday I get a call that my son told his teacher "Guess what we are having, we are having sex" Now he had no idea what he was talking about, and only told the teacher that because another child told him not to. When the assistant director calls me to tell me this incident, my son is crying and she tells me that another child had been talking to my son about sex the week before, something that I never knew. I was a preschool teacher, I know the rules, I know how hard it can be, but this is total lack of supervision. My solution, I am taking my child out of the school. My husband and I will keep him busy for the summer and in the fall he starts Pre-K so he would have left his current school anyway.
8. People who exploit God, Jesus & religion for profit and to excuse bad behavior: As I write this I am sitting here watching a Nightline report on kids in the Congo who are being accused of witchcraft and then tortured as a form of exorcism. They are burned, beaten, starved and accused of causing all the problems in their families. After they are "exorcised" for $50, approximately half the average annual income, they are often banished from their families and forced out on the streets. The government is doing nothing about it, and the "Pastors" believe it is a gift from the Holy Spirit to do what they are doing calling it "healing". The other night I saw a report about a young man who is a pastor and travels the country preaching, and healing. Now my problem is not that he is a child who is a pastor, or that he is preaching, who am I to say whether or not he is called by God. I can't and won't. My problem is with his father who sees him as a "cash cow". He made reference to how much money Joel Osteen makes a year and says his son can make at least that much, and that it is his job to make sure that he does. I pray that God is with these children as they are being exploited in his name. I pray that he will watch over and protect them from the hipocrisy of the adults around them.
9. Parents who think it is everyone elses' resposibility to raise and watch over their children: It is not up to Myspace to make sure pedofiles are not talking to your teenager or that they are not uploading provactive pictures or other inappropriate activities - its your job to know when and where your child is on the internet and what they are doing. It is not the video game manufacturers responsibility to make sure that games do not influence your children - it is your responsibility to know what the games are before you buy them. As a parent it is your responsibility to make yourself aware of the technology in your home or that your child has access to. We need to get rid of the notion that we are supposed to be our kids friends. WE ARE THEIR PARENTS! When my son is an adult, then we can be friends, until then I am his mom period. Although he is only 4, I make sure that he is very aware of the rules. That will not change as he gets older. I am careful about what he is exposed to, and he knows exactly what he cannot watch, listen to, play with even that he cannot have soda. And he will tell you. My husband and I have a plan for what is appropriate for him and at what ages, how we will monitor, and how we will safeguard him. We are very aware that he may not like it, that he make think we are crazy or pull the whole - "but so-and-so's parents" on us. Thats ok, we expect it, and it won't change what we do or how we do it. Ultimately it is up to us, he is our son and our responsibility.
10. That I could not come up with a 10th item. I guess I only have 9 dislikes right now. Maybe it is the migraine that is plaguing me tonight, I am not sure but in any case this brings this weeks Writers Workshop to a close. Hope you enjoyed.
The prompt I chose this week: List ten things you are currently sick of.
1. People who harm and murder children: Last week a little boy was found buried in a local park. Until yesterday no one had any idea who he could be. A composite sketch that was created by artists with the Center for Missing and Exploited Children after its release yesterday a tip was called in about a woman and her son who had not been seen since last Tuesday. Turns out this woman was the mother of the boy. She admitted to suffocating him, reviving him, then suffocating and burying him in the park. Her reason, that she did not want him to grow up with no one carrying about him like she had. The boy was 3 1/2 years old. As a mom, a woman, a human being this makes me physically ill. Not only did she murder her own child, but she buried him in a playground where another child could have found him. Thank God it was a mother and not a child who found the boys body.
2. Chatty Customer Service Reps: When I call in to a company for customer service, I am not interested in making a new best friend. I want my problem fixed in the quickest most efficient manner. I do not want the rep chatting with me about anything other than what my particular issue is. I don't have time to shoot the breeze, I have too many other things to do and the fact that I have to take time out of my day and life to call is bad enough without being bombarded with questions by a rep who is trying to be my "buddy" instead of just getting to the point and fixing my problem. I don't know who told companies that customers want a "Chatty Cathy" on the phone. For future reference here is what I want in my customer service rep; I want some who is courteous, shows genuine concern for my time not the canned "i'm sorry" line, (show me you are sorry and you have empathy by being efficient and getting me off the phone in the quickest time possible), education, teach me how to fix the problem in the future or give me additional steps to try or other resources so that I may not have to call in again, GET ME OFF THE PHONE, I want efficiency, this comes from being knowledgable. If you have to fill the down time, talk to me about services or tips and tricks that are relevant to ME. Finally stopping thinking customer service comes in one form. I will take a knowledgeable rep that fixes my problem quickly without making small talk over a chatty rep who keeps me on the phone forever ANY DAY!
3. People who look at me like I am crazy for speaking ENGLISH: Don't get me wrong I am all for immigration, and I understand that learning a new language can be difficult. I have no problem with offering translators, translated forms, or bilingual customer service. However when I go to a restaurant, store or any other business in the USA and speak English to the employees I do not expect to be treated like I am from another planet. I do not want to be looked at like I am the one in the wrong. I have no problem being patient with someone whose English is not good, or who is just learning or genuinely trying, my problem is with those who refuse to learn the language of the country they live and work in. I would not move to Germany and expect for everyone to speak English to me. I would expect that I will have to learn German.
4. Laziness: I keep saying that I am going to give my house a good cleaning - but I get it "picked up" and then don't finish. I decide there are other things I also need to do. That as long as it is "picked up" I am doing pretty good. But I need to get rid of a bunch of stuff, and I have got to actually do it! Maybe I should put an appointment into my BlackBerry and then I will finally get it done.
5. The notion that torture prevents future terrorrism: Remember the Golden Rule that we all learned when we were in Kindergarten - Do unto others as you would have them do to you. If we want to foster an environment in which diplomacy, conversation and open debate not violence is the first option we cannot ourselves use violence as a resource. All that torture prevents, is us from making peace with our "enemies". It prevents us from having any credibility in the world arena. We must hold ourselves to the same standards as we hold others. We must be a shining example for the humane treatment of all. By torturing anyone we become exactly what the terrorists believe we are - bullies. We are the greatest country in the world and we should conduct ourselves as such.
6. Companies stuck in the DARK AGE: How is that in 2009, there are still companies that require you deal with them via snail mail? Why can't I submit a request over the internet, or at the very least over the phone? It is completely inefficient to run your business this way.
7. Preschool: Now my problem isn't with all preschools, just the one we were sending my son to. I have been a SAHM since my son was born and last summer I decided he needed to be around other children. So I enrolled him in preschool for half a day. At first he had a wonderful teacher she was so sweet, and you could tell she loved her job. She was really good at it too. But she was reassigned and then left the school. Since then my son has come home with injuries noone can explain, picked up habits that I cannot stand, and seems to never "listen" to them. Finally on Monday I get a call that my son told his teacher "Guess what we are having, we are having sex" Now he had no idea what he was talking about, and only told the teacher that because another child told him not to. When the assistant director calls me to tell me this incident, my son is crying and she tells me that another child had been talking to my son about sex the week before, something that I never knew. I was a preschool teacher, I know the rules, I know how hard it can be, but this is total lack of supervision. My solution, I am taking my child out of the school. My husband and I will keep him busy for the summer and in the fall he starts Pre-K so he would have left his current school anyway.
8. People who exploit God, Jesus & religion for profit and to excuse bad behavior: As I write this I am sitting here watching a Nightline report on kids in the Congo who are being accused of witchcraft and then tortured as a form of exorcism. They are burned, beaten, starved and accused of causing all the problems in their families. After they are "exorcised" for $50, approximately half the average annual income, they are often banished from their families and forced out on the streets. The government is doing nothing about it, and the "Pastors" believe it is a gift from the Holy Spirit to do what they are doing calling it "healing". The other night I saw a report about a young man who is a pastor and travels the country preaching, and healing. Now my problem is not that he is a child who is a pastor, or that he is preaching, who am I to say whether or not he is called by God. I can't and won't. My problem is with his father who sees him as a "cash cow". He made reference to how much money Joel Osteen makes a year and says his son can make at least that much, and that it is his job to make sure that he does. I pray that God is with these children as they are being exploited in his name. I pray that he will watch over and protect them from the hipocrisy of the adults around them.
9. Parents who think it is everyone elses' resposibility to raise and watch over their children: It is not up to Myspace to make sure pedofiles are not talking to your teenager or that they are not uploading provactive pictures or other inappropriate activities - its your job to know when and where your child is on the internet and what they are doing. It is not the video game manufacturers responsibility to make sure that games do not influence your children - it is your responsibility to know what the games are before you buy them. As a parent it is your responsibility to make yourself aware of the technology in your home or that your child has access to. We need to get rid of the notion that we are supposed to be our kids friends. WE ARE THEIR PARENTS! When my son is an adult, then we can be friends, until then I am his mom period. Although he is only 4, I make sure that he is very aware of the rules. That will not change as he gets older. I am careful about what he is exposed to, and he knows exactly what he cannot watch, listen to, play with even that he cannot have soda. And he will tell you. My husband and I have a plan for what is appropriate for him and at what ages, how we will monitor, and how we will safeguard him. We are very aware that he may not like it, that he make think we are crazy or pull the whole - "but so-and-so's parents" on us. Thats ok, we expect it, and it won't change what we do or how we do it. Ultimately it is up to us, he is our son and our responsibility.
10. That I could not come up with a 10th item. I guess I only have 9 dislikes right now. Maybe it is the migraine that is plaguing me tonight, I am not sure but in any case this brings this weeks Writers Workshop to a close. Hope you enjoyed.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Memorial Day
Monday is Memorial Day and as we all gear up for the big holiday weekend, I encourage everyone to take a moment and remember why we celebrate.
This holiday is a day to remember all those who have sacrificed to create, defend, and protect our country. We remember our heroes. We remember all those that have worked in quiet anonymity to ensure our safety and to provide us with all of the rights and privileges, that we too often take for granted. It is a time to stop and thank those people in your life who served in the armed forces, for their contribution. It is a time to remember those that have lost their lives for our freedoms. It is a time to offer a prayer for all those who have been injured. It is a time to stop and thank the families of our service members.
My life has been blessed by many members of the armed forces, both friends and family, serving in every branch of the military. I am grateful everyday for their contributions, and that they were returned home after completing their service without serious injury or death. But as I give thanks for my blessings I am aware of the harsh reality that not all families are as fortunate.
This Memorial Day, I am asking all of my friends & family to visit www.TweettoReMIND.org and donate $5.25 to support all our returning service men and women. Their goal is to raise $1.65 million by Memorial Day - that is $1 for every soldier who has served since 9/11. Tweet to ReMIND was created by the Bob Woodruff Foundation's ReMIND.org which is helping our service men and women get the support they need to reintegrate when they return home.
Please take a moment to remember our heroes - and the heroes in your life. Then head over to www.TweettoReMIND.org and give $5.25 as a thank you gift. Help me help Tweet to ReMIND reach their goal. If you Twitter please follow TweettoReMind, ReTweet and share their message with your family & friends.
My heroes:
Eddie - my Grandfather who served in the Navy, was at Pearl Harbor and fought in WWII. He is the greatest man I have ever known and my son is his namesake.
Vincent - my son's Godfather who enlisted in the Air Force despite the fact that we are a country at war.
Shawn - my cousin-in-law that left his family this past Sunday to be deployed to Afghanistan with his National Guard unit.
All of the other members of my family and all of my friends who have served and are still serving. I am grateful for your courage and commitment.
All of the men and women who have and are serving our country and their families. You have my eternal gratitude and are remember in my prayers.
This holiday is a day to remember all those who have sacrificed to create, defend, and protect our country. We remember our heroes. We remember all those that have worked in quiet anonymity to ensure our safety and to provide us with all of the rights and privileges, that we too often take for granted. It is a time to stop and thank those people in your life who served in the armed forces, for their contribution. It is a time to remember those that have lost their lives for our freedoms. It is a time to offer a prayer for all those who have been injured. It is a time to stop and thank the families of our service members.
My life has been blessed by many members of the armed forces, both friends and family, serving in every branch of the military. I am grateful everyday for their contributions, and that they were returned home after completing their service without serious injury or death. But as I give thanks for my blessings I am aware of the harsh reality that not all families are as fortunate.
This Memorial Day, I am asking all of my friends & family to visit www.TweettoReMIND.org and donate $5.25 to support all our returning service men and women. Their goal is to raise $1.65 million by Memorial Day - that is $1 for every soldier who has served since 9/11. Tweet to ReMIND was created by the Bob Woodruff Foundation's ReMIND.org which is helping our service men and women get the support they need to reintegrate when they return home.
Please take a moment to remember our heroes - and the heroes in your life. Then head over to www.TweettoReMIND.org and give $5.25 as a thank you gift. Help me help Tweet to ReMIND reach their goal. If you Twitter please follow TweettoReMind, ReTweet and share their message with your family & friends.
My heroes:
Eddie - my Grandfather who served in the Navy, was at Pearl Harbor and fought in WWII. He is the greatest man I have ever known and my son is his namesake.
Vincent - my son's Godfather who enlisted in the Air Force despite the fact that we are a country at war.
Shawn - my cousin-in-law that left his family this past Sunday to be deployed to Afghanistan with his National Guard unit.
All of the other members of my family and all of my friends who have served and are still serving. I am grateful for your courage and commitment.
All of the men and women who have and are serving our country and their families. You have my eternal gratitude and are remember in my prayers.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Writer's Workshop: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly...
It is time again to do Mama Kat's Writers Workshop
This weeks prompt: 1.) Define goodness...joy...sorrow...and anger using pictures you've take
Joy - Looking at the monitor and seeing my baby. At the time I thought that it was the most beautiful picture I had ever seen. Now I realize he does kind of look like an alien, that is what my mom always said. But to me at that moment that picture was my gorgeous baby boy, I had no words for or comprehension of the love I felt.
Goodness - This angelic baby has no malice, no hate, no prejudices. He does not have any expectations. He has never been here before. Everything that we do and the way we do it is just perfect in his mind because he knows no better. He loves without condition, he believes without proof, and he changes by his presence. The day he was born was the day that my faith was no longer blind, I had concrete proof of God's goodness in my arms.
Anger - I was helpless, and this made me angry. I had to sit there as I was told that my barely 2 month old son was being admitted to the hospital. I had to sit there as they took him away for tests and to put in his IV. I had to sit there when the nurse came in, in the middle of the night and told me she was giving my baby ibuprofen because they couldn't get his fever down. I had to sit there for 5 days as the poked prodded, reinserted his IV, and finally diagnosed my son with urinary tract reflux. I am his mother and all I could do was sit. I couldn't fix him, I couldn't take the pain or the sickness away. All I could do was sit and pray and hope.
Sorrow - It devastates me that my son will not get to know this amazing woman, his grandmother. I am sadder still that he will not remember the time he spent with her. She was the best mother-in-law anyone could have ever asked for. She had a strength that simply amazed me. It brings me sorrow that a disease like MS exists, and that it took one of the most amazing women I have ever known, way too soon.
Laughter - I had to end with laughter. This picture was taken 4 yrs ago, but it makes me giggle every time. This boy has brought more laughter into my life than I could have ever imagined. From the silly faces he made as an infant, to funny things he did as a toddler. Now as a "big boy" of 4 he continues to make me laugh. Just today he told me that he was the one who made ALL of the dinosaur movies. He made what was on the screen and he wrote all of the notes. He was playing with my tripod, and was even giving orders to his imaginary film crew. Not to mention that today was "Crazy Western Day" - this was something he did at preschool, but they way he said it was like the announcer of an old variety show. I laugh more now that he is in my life than I did my whole life before him. So although this picture may be old, it is a snapshot of my son's personality.
This weeks prompt: 1.) Define goodness...joy...sorrow...and anger using pictures you've take
Joy - Looking at the monitor and seeing my baby. At the time I thought that it was the most beautiful picture I had ever seen. Now I realize he does kind of look like an alien, that is what my mom always said. But to me at that moment that picture was my gorgeous baby boy, I had no words for or comprehension of the love I felt.
Goodness - This angelic baby has no malice, no hate, no prejudices. He does not have any expectations. He has never been here before. Everything that we do and the way we do it is just perfect in his mind because he knows no better. He loves without condition, he believes without proof, and he changes by his presence. The day he was born was the day that my faith was no longer blind, I had concrete proof of God's goodness in my arms.
Anger - I was helpless, and this made me angry. I had to sit there as I was told that my barely 2 month old son was being admitted to the hospital. I had to sit there as they took him away for tests and to put in his IV. I had to sit there when the nurse came in, in the middle of the night and told me she was giving my baby ibuprofen because they couldn't get his fever down. I had to sit there for 5 days as the poked prodded, reinserted his IV, and finally diagnosed my son with urinary tract reflux. I am his mother and all I could do was sit. I couldn't fix him, I couldn't take the pain or the sickness away. All I could do was sit and pray and hope.
Sorrow - It devastates me that my son will not get to know this amazing woman, his grandmother. I am sadder still that he will not remember the time he spent with her. She was the best mother-in-law anyone could have ever asked for. She had a strength that simply amazed me. It brings me sorrow that a disease like MS exists, and that it took one of the most amazing women I have ever known, way too soon.
Laughter - I had to end with laughter. This picture was taken 4 yrs ago, but it makes me giggle every time. This boy has brought more laughter into my life than I could have ever imagined. From the silly faces he made as an infant, to funny things he did as a toddler. Now as a "big boy" of 4 he continues to make me laugh. Just today he told me that he was the one who made ALL of the dinosaur movies. He made what was on the screen and he wrote all of the notes. He was playing with my tripod, and was even giving orders to his imaginary film crew. Not to mention that today was "Crazy Western Day" - this was something he did at preschool, but they way he said it was like the announcer of an old variety show. I laugh more now that he is in my life than I did my whole life before him. So although this picture may be old, it is a snapshot of my son's personality.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
If I can't work, I might as well blog....
After a very productive meeting with our software engineer/web designer today, I was all ready to do some work on my company's new website. I needed to add some content and do some updates. But he must be doing the updates that we discussed today right now, because I do not have access. :( So in the absence of the ability to be productive, I will blog! I know blogging is productive but as I have not figured out a way to get paid to blog, it is just a super fun hobby. Also much cheaper than therapy. Although I fear I might have limited its therapeutic value by giving its link to family. They might not like some of what I write, and as such I have begun to limit the topics. Some day soon I am sure that I will be ready to explode and it will all end up on my lovely little blog, but in all fairness I did put a warning at the top of my page.
So what is new my world hmmm.......
The Monkey has begun to act out at school. I don't know how much is bad behavior on his part, and how much is reaction to bad behavior by others. For example yesterday he got into trouble for biting another little boy, who was trapping the Monkey in the bathroom and would not let him out. As an adult, if I was being trapped by someone in the bathroom, there is no telling what I might do to be able to get out. Obviously the rational part of me would hope that using my words would solve the problem but the irrational claustrophobic part of me thinks I might just bite someone if I had to. My question is where was the teacher while my son was being trapped in the bathroom by this other child, why was she only alert enough to know that he had bitten someone instead of to nip the situation in the bud before it got to that point?! So we had a good long talk with the Monkey regarding being in situations where the teacher is nowhere in sight. New rule: say the word HELP as loud as you can as many times as it takes for someone to come help you. I am not sure why he bit this child, he doesn't bite at home and is an only child, however he has been bitten before at school. Again I question the supervision and we have begun to think that maybe we should move him from the school he is in. In the fall he will be in pre-k anyway and maybe removing him from this environment for the summer might be best. But he needs to be engaged, and be around other children so I now have to become a detective to find summer programs for a 4 yr old. Preferrably with the appropriate supervision.
We are planning to move from our current location to other side of town to be close to my parents. We want more space, and now that the Monkey is in school, and I can work part time while he is not home, we can actually afford it. The problem is we now have to look. UGH so not fun! Hopefully it will be a quick and relatively painless process. Plus being by my parents means that when I am not feeling good, the Monkey is not stuck with a grouchy mama. He can go to Grandma's or Grandpa's and I can rest, he can play and be loud, everyone wins.
Hubby is doing very well at work! This is great because he gets better bonuses, and he is much happier. The change of supervisors has done wonders for him. He is finally showing his true skill, and he has a supervisor that recognizes it. He has been asked to train and work with other team members. I am so proud of him.
I have gotten a little off of the Weight Watchers wagon, but I am going to get back on because I want to wear shorts and be comfortable this summer. I am also gonna get back to working out. I was feeling much better when I was working out consistently, so I want to get back on that. I only stopped because I got a nasty cold and being an asthmatic any cold tends to attach itself to my lungs making it hard to breath and extending my recuperation time. But finally all better now and getting back on the good foot.
I think I am slowly beginning to accept that I just might have to see the fertility specialist. After 3 years of trying with no success, it might just be time. However I am trying metformin, and I want to give that a few months before I make any decisions. I also plan to pursue acupuncture when our flexible spending account starts over on June 1st. I would prefer to not chemically alter my body without trying other alternatives. At the same time, it no longer devastates me. That is growth.
I am fast approaching a milestone birthday, no I will not tell you which one. For the first time I feel a little sensitive about my age. Ok I will say it I am going to be 30. As such I have begun to reflect on just how far I have come. There are still some things I need to work on, but I am proud that I am a completely different person than I was at 21 or even 25. I like the person I am becoming. I like that although I feel sensitive about my age, I have begun to feel completely comfortable in my own skin. That is power. When you know who you are, you like yourself, and you don't care if anyone else does, the world is a much brighter place.
So I guess that is it for my update. I feel like I accomplished something and now I must go to sleep.
Have a good night all those out in blogger land
So what is new my world hmmm.......
The Monkey has begun to act out at school. I don't know how much is bad behavior on his part, and how much is reaction to bad behavior by others. For example yesterday he got into trouble for biting another little boy, who was trapping the Monkey in the bathroom and would not let him out. As an adult, if I was being trapped by someone in the bathroom, there is no telling what I might do to be able to get out. Obviously the rational part of me would hope that using my words would solve the problem but the irrational claustrophobic part of me thinks I might just bite someone if I had to. My question is where was the teacher while my son was being trapped in the bathroom by this other child, why was she only alert enough to know that he had bitten someone instead of to nip the situation in the bud before it got to that point?! So we had a good long talk with the Monkey regarding being in situations where the teacher is nowhere in sight. New rule: say the word HELP as loud as you can as many times as it takes for someone to come help you. I am not sure why he bit this child, he doesn't bite at home and is an only child, however he has been bitten before at school. Again I question the supervision and we have begun to think that maybe we should move him from the school he is in. In the fall he will be in pre-k anyway and maybe removing him from this environment for the summer might be best. But he needs to be engaged, and be around other children so I now have to become a detective to find summer programs for a 4 yr old. Preferrably with the appropriate supervision.
We are planning to move from our current location to other side of town to be close to my parents. We want more space, and now that the Monkey is in school, and I can work part time while he is not home, we can actually afford it. The problem is we now have to look. UGH so not fun! Hopefully it will be a quick and relatively painless process. Plus being by my parents means that when I am not feeling good, the Monkey is not stuck with a grouchy mama. He can go to Grandma's or Grandpa's and I can rest, he can play and be loud, everyone wins.
Hubby is doing very well at work! This is great because he gets better bonuses, and he is much happier. The change of supervisors has done wonders for him. He is finally showing his true skill, and he has a supervisor that recognizes it. He has been asked to train and work with other team members. I am so proud of him.
I have gotten a little off of the Weight Watchers wagon, but I am going to get back on because I want to wear shorts and be comfortable this summer. I am also gonna get back to working out. I was feeling much better when I was working out consistently, so I want to get back on that. I only stopped because I got a nasty cold and being an asthmatic any cold tends to attach itself to my lungs making it hard to breath and extending my recuperation time. But finally all better now and getting back on the good foot.
I think I am slowly beginning to accept that I just might have to see the fertility specialist. After 3 years of trying with no success, it might just be time. However I am trying metformin, and I want to give that a few months before I make any decisions. I also plan to pursue acupuncture when our flexible spending account starts over on June 1st. I would prefer to not chemically alter my body without trying other alternatives. At the same time, it no longer devastates me. That is growth.
I am fast approaching a milestone birthday, no I will not tell you which one. For the first time I feel a little sensitive about my age. Ok I will say it I am going to be 30. As such I have begun to reflect on just how far I have come. There are still some things I need to work on, but I am proud that I am a completely different person than I was at 21 or even 25. I like the person I am becoming. I like that although I feel sensitive about my age, I have begun to feel completely comfortable in my own skin. That is power. When you know who you are, you like yourself, and you don't care if anyone else does, the world is a much brighter place.
So I guess that is it for my update. I feel like I accomplished something and now I must go to sleep.
Have a good night all those out in blogger land
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