I love this boy more than I could ever dream of putting in to words, and boy do I like to put things in to words. I love him more than I ever thought I was capable of loving anything. He is my baby, the light of my life, my greatest achievement and my biggest blessing. He is rambunctious, loud, dirty, hyper, sweet, loving, maddening, brilliant, and so much more. He is my angel. He does crazy things like fall asleep on the couch with a PB&J in his hand.
He is amazingly resilient. He loves everyone, he is accepting, and non-judgmental. He forgives, he forgets and he adapts. After 4 yrs of being the only baby in our family he took to being the "Big Cousin" very well. He wants to help, he thinks he knows what the babies want and tells us.
He love my sister's baby so much he has decided that it is his "Baby Brudder"
He is mischievious and if left unwatched he will sometimes take advantage and get into things that he shouldn't like my mom's long wear lip gloss. He took advantage of us after the birth of my nephew, we were tired and vulnerable.
What is all this rambling about. Well my baby is having his tonsils removed on Friday. Now because I am the mom it is my responsibility to keep it together, to be calm and reassuring. I can't be worried or nervous in front of him or his dad for that matter. But he is my baby, and I am worried, I am nervous. I haven't figured out how to be calm and reassuring for myself. Just like with my hubby's surgery last week, I know it is minor surgery, but it is my BABY! This boy is my life. He changed me in so many ways not the least of which is he made me a Stay at Home Mom. Something I never dreamed I would be. He has made me a better me. I think my biggest worry is that I have some trouble with anesthesia, and I worry that maybe I passed that on to him. My other fear, my sweet farmer boy HATES bad tasting medicine!
The transformation when trying to get him to take medicine is like Bruce Banner to Hulk. It can be frightening. I know that this is for the best, that his snoring is caused by his, in the Dr's words "HUGE" tonsils. I know that he will sleep better and be happier and healthier when they are out. I know that once the tonsils are gone the likelihood that he will ever have to have a Strep test, which he also hates, is very slim. All good things. But again he is my BABY! Since I am very aware that it is difficult to get him to take medicine, rest and sit still when he is sick. I have resorted to bribery. What does he get if he follows directions, well we promised to take him to see G-Force a movie he has been dieing to see. I know bad mom, I should just expect my 4 yr old to understand that he must take the medicine and he must rest without any reward. Well I will be that bad mom all day if it makes it easier on myself. I admit it I am selfish, I look for what will make things easier for me. But this boy I love he is more than half my size already and so therefore fighting with him is next to IMPOSSIBLE.
Besides when my bribery makes him this happy it is worth it.
So the countdown begins, 4 days until surgery. I will spend this week, worrying in secret, making jell-o and reminding my son of the rewards of taking gross medicine. And by rewards I do mean my bribery, which I may even go to the store, buy some toys to hide and use them as added incentive. Don't judge me. I need all the tools in my arsenal I can get.
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