Writers Workshop: My paranoia in overdrive

Yes kids it is that time again for Mama Kat's Writers Workshop:

This weeks prompt was chosen based on the hilarity I read on her blog.

4.) Relay an interesting conversation you recently had with someone that may or may not involve creating a Loch Ness Monster Theme Park.


Hubby: My senior (asst coach at work) is driving to Washington State in his truck with his 5th Wheel

Me: Yuck - that is a really long drive.

Hubby: Yeah it is

Me: I think my mom was saying something about her and B going on the bike to Seattle

Hubby: On the bike?

Me: Yeah if they get a Goldwing, but that would be a really long trip

Hubby: That is a crazy long trip on a motorcycle - thats a long time sitting on your a$$

Me: I know I could never do that, I need to sleep on long trips

Hubby: You could sleep on a Goldwing

Me: No I couldn't my paranoia would kick in to overdrive. I would be thinking what if I lean too far and he takes a turn to fast I will fill off, what if I slip off the seat, what if doesn't know I am asleep and something happens that I fly out cause I wasn't paying attention

Hubby: On a Goldwing you have arm rests, you are pretty caged in

Me: Still no way, my paranoia would be in overdrive I'm telling you. I barely ride in a car long distances

Hubby: I wouldn't mind that trip on a bike but I don't know about having someone on the back - but I guess it would be ok for people like your mom and B who can take 3 weeks off to take there time to get there.

Me: Yeah no way I would never go that far on a motorcycle - like I said I barely go long distances in a car, I would much rather get on a plane get there fast and rent a car when I get there. That is much better than being on the road for long periods of time where anything can happen.

Hubby: Well when we go to Seattle I will take the bike and you can fly and meet me there

Me: You don't have a bike anymore

Hubby: By the time we can go to Seattle I will have one - that is an expensive trip

Me: We could go in the next couple of years - we just have to save up

Hubby: I will have a bike by then, I will ride and you can meet me.

Me: No then I don't want to go - what would be the point of that? The first time we go to Seattle I want to go just us and not take the Monkey

Hubby: So you can meet me there

Me: NO what would be the point - we are going on vacation TOGETHER, you would have to leave 2 or 3 days before me and then I would have to fly out later.

Hubby: So you can go ahead of me and scope out all the fun things to do when I get there

Me: No I don't think so!

Hubby: I am just kidding - I Love You Much!

Ok so I am gonna do this one too:

5.) Show us something you made!

THE HUNK CAKE


I made this for my cousin's bachelorette party

Ok I liked this one too:

1.) Mother's guilt...tell us what happened.

Dear Monkey,

I would like to apologize to you in advance, as your mother there are going to be times when I will have to do things that you don't like. As your mother I may or may not feel guilty, most likely I won't but here is what I am sorry for:
I am sorry for telling you NO when you want every toy that you see on the store shelves or heard about on a commercial.
I am sorry that you don't have 'Bend-Its' or the Transformers helmet.
I am sorry that as long as something is in my house and under my roof I can take it away regardless of who paid for it.
I am sorry that I don't let you have soda or candy.
I am sorry that you have you have to speak to me, your dad, and all other adults with respect.
I am sorry that you have to address all adults with Ms or Mr even if it is before their first name
I am sorry that you have to keep your room clean and help keep the house clean
I am sorry that you will have a curfew and it will be enforced
I am sorry you have chores
I am sorry that you are expected to act appropriately in all situations
I am sorry that you do not have everything that your friends have
I am sorry that you will have to do your school reports and projects all on your own
I am sorry that you will not have a computer in your room
I am sorry that we have a hacker proof security system on our computer, so you won't be on it without supervision
I am sorry that you have to spend time with your family
I am sorry that you have to eat dinner with us too
I am sorry I do not run a restaurant and you have to eat the dinner I cooked or nothing at all
You are only 4 now so I am sure that this list will grow ever longer. But I am your mom, and it is my responsibility to do my best to raise you to be a productive, responsible member of society. It is my responsibility to prepare you for the world. I know that along the way you may hate me, but thats ok, I love you anyway. I am your mom I will always be here for you even when you don't want me to.